Culture Shock

It has been so long since I’ve updated I don’t know what to write about. So many things have happened I think we all just need to accept that some aspects of my life wont be included in this blog.

Aspects. That is a word I spent a good 5 minutes trying to explain to my students yesterday.

First, an update on teaching. To be honest I am not completely loving it. At the same time, I have to recognize that I am still new at teaching and it is a skill that needs to be developed. Some days I dread going to work but then I get there and the day goes by so fast. Mostly it is the middle school students that I do not enjoy. I LOVE my elementary kids. They wear me out but teaching them is so much fun.

I also have to admit that my negative feelings towards my job may be an expression of my overall psychological state the past couple of weeks. Culture shock is hitting me hard. Much harder than I expected. Everyone tells me that the first 3 months are the most difficult. Well I’m into my 3^rd month now so I’m just trying to take each day as they come. Culture shock is a sneaky process. Lets go through it a bit, shall we?

First there was the “honeymoon phase” where I loved everything in Korea. I definitely went through this. For about the first month I thought everything was so cool. And it is, this is a crazy country. During the honeymoon phase I was in awe.

Then I noticed the awe beginning to fade. Suddenly I found aspects of life in Korea to be annoying. Koreans always walking in my path or bumping into me elicited an unnecessarily strong reaction. I found myself thinking of LA more often and with a greater sense of longing.

Then Marc came to visit for a little over a week. Suddenly I wasn’t alone all the time. I had someone with whom I could explore Seoul. Someone who was familiar. Once he left, the culture shock really set in. My solitude hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself on a Thursday morning hiking down a mountain crying my eyes out. I let myself cry for a couple of hours and ever since then I have felt much better. I think I was trying to pretend even to myself that everything was fine, that I was happy and healthy when in reality I was hurting inside. It is HARD to move to a country where you know NOBODY and you can’t speak the language. Every day is a challenge. Making friends is a daunting task for me (but I’m glad that I’m being forced to do it). But its exhausting and I needed a day to admit to myself that yes, I was hurting and yes, that was okay and part of the process.

Moving to a new country is no easy adventure. It is an incredibly challenging and overwhelming one. But at the end of every day I have to conclude I am happy with the decision I made and wouldn’t go back to America yet even if given the opportunity.

I also recently bought a 3 months unlimited pass to a Bikram yoga studio in Gangnam. They do all of their classes in English. Most classes are 90 minutes long with a few 60 minute classes. It is exactly the physical challenge and mental clarity that I have been craving since arriving here. And now that I finally feel like I’m coming up for air after drowning in the waves of culture shock I am able to focus on myself again and take time every day to practice yoga.

I want to make sure I end this on a positive note so in summary, yes culture shock has hit me hard and yes I have been incredible homesick the last few weeks. At the same time I am loving life here more than ever. The honeymoon phase is over but as I settle into a normal routine and a life here in Korea I am discovering more things about myself that I love and I can tell I am at the beginning of what is becoming an incredible journey into self awareness.

Perhaps I’ll write a post soon where I describe my amazing trip to Busan. Or all the crazy things I saw on Marc’s visit, or any of the other outrageous things that happen to me on a daily basis. For now writing about culture shock has exhausted me. In conclusion: here are your first photos of me in Seoul.

Eagerly awaiting 삼겹살 Samgyeopsal. (I'll get into what that is in another blog post. 3 layered pork. BBQ.)

 

Me at the top of Gwanaksan, my favorite mountain so far in Seoul. 

Till next time!